Quite often, men and women think about how a husband should treat his wife. After all, it's not a secret to anyone that it depends to a large extent. Yes, it is, as many believe, achieved through the behavior of a woman. But at the same time, a man should behave with dignity. Otherwise, there will be no harmony. After all, a woman is the same person. She should not tolerate bullying and disrespectful attitude towards herself. So what features should be taken into account so that the relationship between the spouses develops well?

Respect

The first and rather important point is respect. Without it, it is impossible, in principle, to imagine a normal relationship. How should a husband treat the wife he loves? Respect.

It does not mean to be henpecked at all. But a man should respect his beloved woman. It is impossible to insult, humiliate and offend, all the more, it is impossible to raise a hand against your wife. This is the height of disrespect. It is also not recommended to speak unflatteringly about the parents of the spouse.

Equally

The relationship of husband and wife is something that cannot be described briefly. Each family has its own rules of behavior and relationships. Despite this, there are still common features.

The next piece of advice is treating the woman you love as an equal. And in any situation. Usually, this feature ceases to be observed when the wife goes on maternity leave and sits at home with the children, not replenishing the family budget. Even in this case, the husband should not reproach the woman. Spouses are equal members of the family. In any case, in Russia. This rule is regulated at the legislative level. Therefore, it is worth remembering that a man and a woman in the family have equal rights. You can't hurt them.

conversations

How should a husband treat his wife? Conversations between spouses require special attention. It's no secret that women tend to communicate a lot. And men are not. They are short and to the point.

What's next? If a dispute arose, in no case should one stoop to humiliation. If emotions take over, you should either avoid dialogue or communicate with the woman calmly. As much as possible. Wives are emotional people. Very often they remember everything that was said by their husbands in the heat of the moment. And in the future it will play a cruel joke with a man.

Support and sympathy

How should a husband treat his wife? Women, due to the special structure of the psyche, the structure of their organisms, need sympathy and support. Especially if there are any problems. You should not immediately decide everything for a woman. First of all, you need to support her and sympathize, empathize. Both in word and deed. Show tenderness and affection when the wife needs it.

A husband is a support for a woman. Therefore, the spouse must be sure that she will be able to support her in difficult times. This is extremely important. Maybe for a husband, sympathy and empathy are not so significant. But for the wife - quite. A marriage in which a girl does not have support from her beloved man is doomed. Most likely, she will start looking for her on the side.

Support

How should a husband treat his wife? It has already been said that a man is a support for a woman. The head of the family, the "stone wall" that protects from troubles and dangers. This is the behavior of a real man.

The most important thing is that there really is support. And that it was not an illusion based on words. A beloved wife should feel safe with a man. Then she will be able to give her affection and love to her husband. Only in this case harmony is possible.

Unfortunately, now the trend is such that wives begin to take on some of the male duties, and it is not possible to rely on the spouse. As a result, internal family problems arise that cannot be solved in any way. A loving husband is reliable protection and support for women. A person who gives confidence in the future.

home, child, entertainment

It has already been said that spouses in marriage should be on an equal footing. Now some specifics. Quite often, after the wedding, the beloved wife begins to serve her husband, takes care of the house, life, and family. AT modern world women, as already mentioned, often work to help their husband provide for the family. And then they take over the "second shift" - they do household chores.

Such a phenomenon is detrimental to relationships. How should a husband treat his wife? Help with the baby and around the house. Give the woman time for herself. And if the husband rests from time to time (for example, once a week he goes fishing), then the wife is entitled to a similar day of rest. This is especially true when both work. It is unfair if, after a hard day, the husband sits down to play at the computer, while the wife cleans, does laundry, cooks, does homework with the children, and so on.

In other words, there should be mutual assistance and mutual understanding in the family. Of course, every good husband must remember his masculine duties. And don't involve your wife in them. If it so happened that for some reason life circumstances the woman began to perform male functions, part of the female husband takes over. This is a guarantee of equality and successful unit of society.

Pregnancy

Very often people are interested in how a husband should treat a pregnant wife. After all, during this period, a woman's body is rebuilt. Someone becomes calm, someone becomes an unbearable hysteric. How to behave?

Pregnancy is not a disease. This should be remembered. But, as many say, it's easier to go to work with a cold. It should be remembered that during pregnancy a woman is most vulnerable. Therefore, it is recommended to be patient and not react violently to emotional changes.
Again, pregnancy is not a disease. Treat your wife like you don't need to. But it is worth listening to the requests of a woman in a position.
Support and attention - that's what a pregnant woman needs. If the wife asks to go for an ultrasound and look at the baby, it is better for the husband to agree. And show interest in the unborn child. The woman will be pleased.
Tantrums and strange desires of the wife are a temporary phenomenon. They, as already mentioned, must be endured. In no case do not threaten with a divorce, do not leave the girl "in position" alone.
Less stress. A woman whom a man loves needs to be protected from any trouble during pregnancy. After all, your baby's health depends on it!

All these tips will help a man to show himself as a loving and attentive person. Of course, all other features should not be forgotten either. Basically, the key to success is:

respect;
attention and understanding;
equality;
ignoring some female emotional outbursts;
manifestation of care.

According to Sharia

Most of the peoples of the world have specific guidelines for how a husband should treat his wife. This is normal. What can be offered, for example, biblical stories as well as Muslim traditions?

According to Sharia, a man should be guided by the following advice:

Communicate with your wife on an equal footing and do not prohibit everything that Sharia permits.
Tolerate insults that a woman says. Do not respond to her aggression. Condescendingly treat your beloved during quarrels.
To please the wife, to make laugh and entertain. But at the same time, it is important to maintain harmony, to remain an authority for the girl.
Keep a woman. It is necessary. A husband who does not support his beloved is a disgrace to the family. At the same time, the money a wife earns is her money. She has the right to spend them as she sees fit.
A disobedient woman (who does not follow Shariah) is worth educating. It is not allowed to hit hard, in extreme cases and not in the face.
All wives are treated equally. This applies to both provision and attention.
Protect and protect a woman who is a wife. Protect where it is not prohibited by Shariah.
If a husband does not love his wife, then one should not show his dismissive attitude. Humiliate, offend, insult, beat - too. It is customary for Muslims to treat women with respect.

Bible

And what advice regarding male behavior in the family can be extracted from the Bible? To be honest, the instructions are somewhat similar. What does the Bible say? How should a husband treat his wife?

Among the instructions are:

A manifestation of firmness of character and at the same time tenderness for his wife.
Beloved woman must be constantly praised, admired. Then the girl will improve.
Be equal. The family is equality. It is required to yield to each other, to help.
Don't criticize your wife. A woman who is next to a man is the choice of the head of the family. There is no need to criticize the weaker sex.
Remember the importance of the little things.
Don't ignore a woman's need to be close to a man. Attention beloved should be given in the first place.
Satisfy the needs of his wife, treat mood swings with understanding.

There is an old Russian proverb: "A good husband has a bad bird - a queen. And a bad one has a figure - a fool."

All of the above tips, if followed, will provide a woman with comfort, tranquility and coziness. The girl will gladly satisfy the desires of her husband. Therefore, it is important to understand that harmony in the family depends not only on wives. If a man behaves with dignity, then there will be an appropriate couple next to him!

Often married women receive signs of attention from other men, begin to cheat on the side, and then divorce their husband. But what lies behind this male interest in married ladies? How badly do infidelities and divorces end for women?

Many families live ordinary lives, pay off loans, take care of their families and try to raise children. In such a situation, many wives have long been housewives and are frankly bored. Other wives begin, after giving birth, to put themselves in order and get a job.

At this point in marriage, there are many temptations for wives. A colleague flirts at work, a man smiled in transport, unfamiliar men get to know each other on the street, the boss pesters at a corporate party or an ex has appeared. The wife's feelings for her husband are already at a minimum. It has long been a crisis in relations, but here new "options" appear.

Around a married woman there are many admirers who pay special attention: they give flowers, compliments, admire, declare their love and seduce. The most interesting thing is that they do not care that she has been married for a long time and even has children.

A married woman spreads her wings, begins to consider herself a sexy queen who deserves more. The wife begins to think that her husband is not a match for her, because such “quality” men are courting her. Many women begin to cheat secretly.

Having received faith in their sexuality and relevance from fans, such wives begin not only to cheat, but also to divorce their husbands. They believe that once they are free, rich men will line up at their doorstep with flowers and gifts. A woman will choose from hundreds of fans, but it was not there.

Married woman gets divorced and faces reality

Many cheating wives have a bitter discovery. Men needed other people's wives only because they were married.

With a married woman easier for men, whose stigma have themselves in the cannon. A married woman will not pull you down the aisle, will hide a love affair and will not tell your wife about the betrayal. A married woman will raise the confidence and ego of men with complexes that he was able to fuck someone else's wife. But as soon as a woman gets divorced, the crowd of admirers quickly disappears. Even more likely to run away in panic. There are only a couple of men who want one-time sex without obligations with a divorcee.

Almost all wives are needed by their lovers only when they are married. And ordinary divorcees are a dime a dozen. Few people need them, except for sex.

A friend of mine, every weekend, shoots divorcees in a tavern. He arrives at the club late at night and takes the divorcee home with him. But he doesn't fuck them more than once. What he just doesn't do with them. And there is absolutely no reason not to believe him.

Some divorcees try to get back together with their husbands. But men who have known freedom rarely return to their old wife. Divorced men prefer to have sex with new women who have appeared, after a divorce, in abundance.

So many wives destroy marriages, because of the illusion of being in demand among men. Everything turns out even worse than with Alexander Pushkin in The Tale of the Fisherman and the Fish. When the old woman is left with nothing, but even without the old man ...

Shot from the movie "Mr. and Mrs. Smith"

There is a story about the meeting of the wife and mistress of one man. They began to discuss it, and the wife said:

He is a fool, a miser and a scoundrel. I don't understand what you're doing with him!

You are wrong, - the mistress answered, - he is both generous, and wise, and brave! Judge for yourself: every holiday brings me chic gifts - here are the rings, and the fur coat, and the car.

That's not true! - the wife was indignant - He doesn’t even give me flowers on holidays, he doesn’t give me a salary! He's still a miser!

No! - objected mistress. - He is a wise man, it is always so interesting to communicate with him. He read a lot, knows a lot, has his own opinion about everything. I love listening to him - I learn so much!

Say it too! - Wife grinned - He always carries some kind of nonsense and nonsense! It's disgusting to even listen to! And what a scoundrel! He will never intercede for me, he will not meet me at night, how to make repairs - so he disappears, and I do everything myself !!!

We are like about different men we say, - the mistress smiled - Three days ago, he even fought for me with the guy who called me names. Never allows you to carry anything heavier than a bouquet of flowers. And even at my house he hammered in all the nails, laid the parquet, tiles ... I tell you, he is generous, wise and brave!

And every one of them is right. Because with one of them, a man behaves in such a way that he looks like a scoundrel, and on the other, he is a brave man. Although the man is the same.

This story shows how much a woman influences a man. The same man can differ radically, depending on who is next to him.

I know examples of alcoholics in the first marriage and successful businessmen in the second. Conversely, I have seen successful men leave their first wife for a young girl. After a couple of years, they lost everything and became drinking bums.

Why is this happening? Because the power of a woman is enormous. And her influence on a man is unlimited. In fact, the woman "makes" the man. It reveals some qualities in him, and neutralizes some. Most of the time it works unconsciously. Using generic scenarios and the experience of your family. If dad was successful, then she will unconsciously help him achieve success (she has such a picture before her eyes). And if dad was a loser or drank a lot, then her unconscious picture will lead the family to collapse.

The problem is that women do not understand their power and do not pay enough attention to their thoughts and actions. They do not realize their strength and the possibilities of their influence on their husband. If we knew that we were born with a magic wand, we would hardly wave it in vain and order all sorts of nonsense, right?

Let's look at what a wife can do with a man, how she can influence his character and actions.

Let's start with the negative influence of the wife

As a wife thinks of her husband, so he becomes. He sees in him only flaws and imperfections - they multiply every day. And then even the man who has great potential to be a good husband becomes an ordinary horned animal from the goat family.

If a wife does not respect her husband, no one respects him. No family, no friends, no colleagues. We can say that the wife on the forehead of her husband writes a certain word that characterizes him. And according to this inscription, other people begin to build relationships with him. This is how the wife, without thinking, writes some kind of disgusting thing with a permanent marker, and then she is surprised ...

If a wife does not trust her husband and does not open his heart to him - no one trusts him. Even if he is completely worthy of such trust, all the same, everyone around him will constantly doubt him. And what an increase or new perspectives!

If the wife is always dissatisfied with everything, then everyone in the family becomes just as dissatisfied. They will have the wrong apartment, the wrong dinner, the clothes, and the rest. And even parents will seem completely different from what they should be.

If a wife thinks that a better husband could be found, this is the first step to male adultery. It is said that the woman always cheats first. True, she does this only mentally - and it is difficult to convict her of this. And a man cheats physically after his wife gave him such “permission” with her thoughts that he is far from the best.

If the wife is stingy in heart, does not want to serve her husband, warm him with love and appease him, he seeks solace for himself in alcohol and drugs.

If the wife does not allow her husband to do men's business- chatting with friends, fishing, garages and other nonsense in a woman's opinion, the husband is looking for rest differently - in alcohol, computer games, smoking and other not the most joyful things.

If a woman does not open her heart to her husband he becomes greedy. And then you won’t beg him for snow even in winter, let alone flowers on the eighth of March. The moment a woman cuts off her husband's access to her heart, he closes her access to his wallet.

If the wife is too independent- everything by herself and no one is needed, then the husband becomes irresponsible. Even if before that he was quite well responsible not only for himself, he seems to lose this skill, relaxes and grows together with the sofa.

If the wife is touchy the husband will be angry. Anger manifests itself in different ways in our bodies.

If a wife is mentally unfaithful to her husband then he will be stingy. And why should he spend money on a woman who is not today, so tomorrow she will find another and leave?

If the wife of her husband does not obey, constantly arguing and balking, then the husband will cease to be a man. He becomes irresponsible and sloppy, weak and "none".

If the wife regularly abuses her husband- for example, “takes out his brain” or yells at him, insults him, and so on, then the man will have two options. Or he becomes a resigned henpecked, with a completely broken will and male ego. Or he also begins to commit violence against his wife - most often in the physical plane.

If a woman is too active in external activities, the husband becomes a passive appendage to the TV. Although earlier he could be quite a successful businessman.

But there is also a downside!

If a wife sees good qualities in her husband and focuses on them - they begin to grow and multiply. Even if there is no reason for it. Even if he was not supposed to be responsible, he becomes so. Should not be the boss - but suddenly becomes. Etc.

If a wife respects her husband, for some reason friends and colleagues begin to respect him. They support him and help in difficult situations.

If a wife trusts her husband- other people trust him.

If a wife hides nothing from her husband, does not deceive, opens his heart - then the husband will not be able to deceive his wife and change her.

If a wife opens her heart to her husband, he becomes generous. He begins to look for reasons to please her and make her even happier.

If a wife sincerely serves her husband- he will take her under his protection with great pleasure. He will take care of her and protect her from everything.

If the wife is sympathetic to the temperament of her husband and try to satisfy him, then her husband will move mountains for her. To do this, you need to learn to see the qualities of your husband, and not measure him with your stereotypes.

This is the most important thing I want to convey to you. If your husband does not suit you with something, find the reason for this in yourself. And this work is worth spending time and energy on. What would I be like if I were a man? - Are you sure you want to know? “Then look at your husband. This is what they would be. He lacks masculine qualities just as you lack feminine ones.

For example, the husband drinks beer. Then your main job is acceptance. Acceptance that he has the right to ruin his health if he wants to. And this, most likely, speaks of your emotional dryness in a relationship with him. Perhaps he lacks support and encouragement.

Or the husband does not want to work. Then, perhaps, you work too much and absolutely do not obey him. And what's the point of kicking him and signing him up for interviews? Even if he goes there, with such an attitude, it will not last long. Therefore, you need to change yourself.

Why is the man on the couch? Because a stressed woman pushes him there. She rushes around like a meteor, sweeping away everything in her path, and in order to stay alive, he disguises himself as a cape on the sofa.

If your husband does not help you with the children - think about it, do you consider him a good father, worthy that the children love him on an equal basis with you? And didn’t you turn him away from helping by pointing out that he didn’t wash the baby’s bottom well, but didn’t boil the bottle again?

God gives us exactly what we deserve. Our parents, our children, our brothers and sisters - we cannot choose them. So you have to learn to accept. But it's different with husbands. There is an illusion of choice. There is a feeling that it could be different, better.

But this is only the appearance of choice. Spouses are also given to us by God. Otherwise, how would we meet and love each other? How would we find each other in the crowd and be attracted?

And since God gave you such a husband, it means that this is exactly what you deserve. But why and why - this is already worth thinking about. And what to do with it further is already your choice and your scope for creativity.

Take care of each other!

You can always blame each other and look for a speck in the eye of your spouse. Or you can muster up the courage and look into your own eyes with their logs.

And when you notice and examine your logs, you will finally be able to see that there is a Human next to you. Moreover, this person is a Man. And it has a lot of good stuff in it. And how much he just suffers from you. After all, a woman is much stronger in matters of relationships. From it, the energy of relationships is a fountain! And flooding a man with stormy waves is very simple. And after all, while sailing, he must also make a ship from floating chips, right in the waves! It's in your best interest to keep the waves calm.

Take care of each other! So much energy goes into meaningless fights within families, and yet these forces could be invested in creativity or the upbringing of children. Energy losses from each quarrel are colossal. Don't waste your energy. Learn to love.

Instead of a quarrel, one could spend energy on:

- Keeping yourself and your husband healthy- for example, you could start running in the morning, do exercises or go to the gym. One quarrel would be enough for a month of such useful activities.
thinking about and looking for a gift for loved ones. And even better for each other. And buy not something that we think he would like. And what he really wants and what he will be happy with (usually these are different things)

- Walking together or with children. Strengthening relationships by walking is the most effective method.

- view family album, memories of how you were so many years ago and how your relationship developed.

- to get to the payment terminal in the metro and put at least 100 rubles into the account of a sick child to help his parents perform surgery on him. He will grow up grateful, believing in good people and God, choose a good profession and help hundreds of other people. With one small action, you would change the whole world for the better - but you spent your energy on cursing.

It's difficult at first. But after all, even a flower sits underground for some time, in darkness and dampness. Then he needs to expend a lot of strength to break through the soil, to go beyond the darkness. Then you need to strive for a long, long time to the sun. And only then can he open up and show everyone his beauty.

Also people. It takes a lot of effort to learn to love. You need to give yourself time. And at some point, muster up the courage to step out of your comfort zone. And also allow yourself to absorb the Love that God selflessly gives us along with sunlight. And when you are filled with this love, you just need to open your heart.

Its beautiful, like the most amazing flower, A heart. Heart full of Love.

Love men. They really need your love. Even if they never admit it.

Behind every great man there is always a woman who believed in him. And she truly loved. There is such funny story about Barack Obama and his wife.

One evening, President Obama and his wife Michelle decided to have an unscheduled dinner at a restaurant that wasn't very luxurious. Once they were seated, the owner of the restaurant asked Obama's bodyguard if he could speak to the first lady privately.

Michelle and the man then had a conversation. The husband then asked Michelle, "Why was he so interested in talking to you?" She replied that in her teenage years, he was madly in love with her.

The President chuckled, "So if you married him, would you be the owner of this fine restaurant now?" and Michelle smiled, "No. If I married him, he would be the president."

I wish you that this day when you can open your heart full of Love will come very soon.

Incredible Facts

1. Arin Andrews and Katie Hill: A teenage couple who met in a community that supports transgender teens

These teenagers look like a normal young couple in swimsuits.

young transsexuals

It's hard to believe that just two years ago, Erin was a girl named Emerald and Cathy was a boy named Luke. Erin, 17, and Kathy, 19, from Tulsa, Oklahoma, US, have undergone gender reassignment surgery and now they have at their disposal the bodies they have always dreamed of.

Cathy and Erin met almost two years ago in a community that supports transgender teens, and they bonded over their shared feelings and concerns. The families of both children supported them on this difficult path, and support their relationship, emphasizing that they helped each other a lot to do what they did.

Source 2Jamie Eagle and Louis Davies: The transgender couple who won't get married until all gender reassignment procedures are over

Jamie and Louis look like an ordinary young engaged couple. But their love story differs from others, first of all, in that they are both currently in the process of gender reassignment.

20-year-old Jamie Eagle was born a boy, but now he is almost a woman. Her fiance, 25-year-old Louis Davis, was born a girl, and now she is almost a man. They got engaged after 9 months of a torrid romance, but emphasize that will not marry until all gender reassignment procedures are completed.

The young, both Welsh, met when Louis invited Jamie to speak to his university group on the topic of transsexualism.

Husband and wife transsexuals

3. Alexis and Karen: Argentinian transgender couple expecting a baby

The two are residents of Argentina who are now awaiting the birth of their first daughter. In May 2012, Argentina passed a law stating that "any person can legally change their gender and name, if the existing ones do not coincide with gender self-identification".

Incredible stories of people who married animals

Alexis sees herself as a man, despite being born in a female body, and Karen sees herself as a woman, but her genitals are masculine. After meeting these two people, they fell in love and decided to become parents.

This is why Alexis, after suspending her male hormone therapy, after a certain amount of time, became pregnant. In December 2013, they expect the birth of a girl, whose name will be Genesis Angelina.

Alexis, who is 8 months pregnant, noted that she stopped taking testosterone in order to be able to conceive, but as soon as the baby is born, she wants to go under the surgeon's knife to get a male body.

Here is a video of their ultrasound:

4. Felix Laws and Helen Morfitt

Meet the most unusual couple in the UK: Felix and Helen became the first couple in the country in which the husband - former woman and his wife is a former man.

Each of them had gender reassignment surgery scheduled for September 13th, except for Helen in 2003 and Felix in 2010. So, they chose the wedding date easily.

The couple, who have been together for six years, were forced to change their sex on their birth certificates before they fled to Scotland to get married.

Helen is slightly taller than Felix, and they admit that many on the street like to stare at such an unusual couple.

By the way, together they already have 10 children from four previous marriages. They met in 2008 after Felix, who was still a woman at the time, confessed to his doctor that he felt It's like he's not in his body.

Felix was sent to a psychologist, who in turn referred him to Helen, the leader of a transgender support group.

Source 5Chen and Jiang Ling: An ordinary couple who recently got married and are now ready to undergo gender reassignment surgery to switch roles

"We got married a year ago, and today we both want to switch roles with a sex change operation," the husband said. Both people look and act like a normal middle-aged couple.

The happiest and hardest year of marriage revealed

Asked why they decided to have sex reassignment surgery, Chen says that he is an introvert who enjoys caring for and protecting his wife, while Jiang emphasized that she was tired of her mother-in-law's endless mockery.

"I never fell out of my parents' sight until I went to school. I felt so defenseless. I need someone I can count on completely. I want to be a woman so Jiang can take care of me."

Chen's mom seems to think that Jiang doesn't deserve to be around her son, because the girl was previously married and had a child who died for an unknown reason.

“Despite what I do for her and in what quantity, she is still always unhappy, and we constantly fight,” says Jiang.

The idea to "swap bodies" came after another quarrel with my mother. Jiang lashed out at her husband and said: "If I were a man and you were a woman, then no one would mock me." Chen immediately agreed with his wife.

Source 6Jane and Ann: The couple who got married for the second time after changing sex

There are many ways to resurrect a marriage, and one couple in England has rekindled romantic feelings for each other. after one of the partners changed sex.

Barry and Ann got married in 2002, but after a few years they realized that they were unhappy. However, in 2011, they remembered the vows they once swore at the altar. But now it was no longer Barry and Ann, but Jane and Ann!

Barry became a woman and Ann is now in a same-sex marriage.

Ann, now 53, admitted that she mourns the loss of Barry, but added that Jane retained many of the characteristics that she warmly recognizes in her heart. "But now we can talk about hair, clothes and makeup."

The most unusual weddings in the world

Ann was determined get married a second time proving to Jane and the whole world that she accepts her new husband for who he is.

Note: although this story does not imply the presence of a husband - a woman and a wife - a man, but two weddings took place!

Transgender Stories

Source 7Janine and David: An intersex British couple whose marriage license was signed by the Queen herself

In 1994, a man who used to be a woman and a woman who used to be a man wrote a letter to the Queen asking her to let them marry. Janine Newman and David Willis, who had a daughter, were already living together at that time in Louth, Lincolnshire.

They met in 1989 when Janine was preparing for a sex change operation, and in 1994 they placed an appeal to the Queen in the Grimsby Evening Telegraph newspaper, which was printed on the main page.

In a letter to Buckingham Palace, Miss Newman wrote: "My partner David Willis and I want to get married. We intend to spend the rest of our lives together, and the legal relationship allows us to officially recognize us as a family in which we will raise David's daughter."

"We are very simple citizens, and we want to have the right to live our lives the way it is. allowed to other citizens. We want to be integrated into society."

I am trying to read the diaries of Sophia Andreevna Tolstoy and Leo Tolstoy at the same time. I rechecked several times whether the year is the same in the records for one day - the events do not coincide at all, there is nothing in common. Rather, the male and female worldview does not coincide.

Here, for example, are the memoirs of October 8, 1899 (slightly abridged): Sofia Andreevna:Lev Nikolaevich went for a walk without telling me where. I thought that he had left on horseback, and these days he had a cough and a runny nose. A storm arose with snow and rain; Roofs were torn, trees were shaking, frames were trembling, darkness - the moon had not yet risen - it was still gone. I went out onto the porch, stood on the terrace, all waiting for him with such a spasm in my throat and a sinking heart, as in my younger years, when it happened, for hours in the painful agony of anxiety, you wait for him from hunting. Finally he returned, tired and sweaty, from a long walk. It was hard to walk through the mud, he was tired, but brave. Here I burst into tears and reproaches that he did not protect himself, that he could tell me that he had left and where he had gone. And to all my words, hot and loving, he said with irony: "Well, what do I leave, I'm not a boy to tell you." - "But you're unwell." “So the air will only make me feel better.” - “But rain, snow, storm ...” - “And there is always rain and wind ...” I became both sick and tired. I give him so much love and care, and such a coldness in his soul! And yesterday I kissed you madly, saying that she always admires the beauty of my body.

Lev Nikolaevich:home safely .

What kind of husbands were they?

1. Alexander Blok

Who: the great symbolist poet

How it ended up on the list: went too far in the desire to separate flies from meatballs, and sex from love

"I'm scared to meet you. It’s more terrible not to meet you, ”Blok once wrote and his premonition did not deceive him. At least as far as the first sentence of this stanza is concerned. Despite the fact that Blok married Lyubochka Mendeleeva for love, the poet’s husband turned out to be, to put it mildly, strange. It seems that he is forever stuck in adolescence, when a boy idolizes one girl, and on the other, more accessible, he is not averse to having sex. Blok flatly refused to fulfill his marital duty. whole year(!) After the wedding, Alexander did not touch his wife, being content with corrupt women. Then Lyuba still managed to seduce her own husband, but he still preferred "spiritual intimacy" so that ... not to be disappointed in his wife and not stop loving her. The poet removed erotic tension with anyone, but not with Anyone, and did not even think to hide this fact from his wife.

"I enter dark temples,

I perform a poor ritual.

There I am waiting for the Beautiful Lady

In the flickering of red lamps.

Poor Luba! After all, it was enough to read this quatrain to understand that in this temple (as well as later in the USSR) there is no sex!

How he ended up on the list: he constantly confused God's gift with scrambled eggs, and his wife with servants

The great physicist was not too lazy to compose a whole manifesto that regulated his relationship with his first wife. So to speak, he found time between studies in science and intrigues on the side. Albert wanted to somehow improve the rapidly deteriorating relationship with his wife so that the children would not suffer. But ... everything turned out as always. Judge for yourself: in the eleventh year of marriage, Einstein's wife Mileva Marich received a list of requirements from her husband.

She had to make sure that his things and linen were always in order, to supply Albert with food three times a day. She was charged with the duty not to humiliate him in front of the children - with words or behavior - but all these are flowers, if you look at it - there is nothing supernatural in these points. And then berries - Einstein vetoed marital debt. Mileva should not have expected intimacy from her husband and / or reproached him for not having sex. She had to come to terms with the fact that from now on her husband should not stay at home with her or travel, and also part with illusions about who is the boss in the house. This is evidenced by the following two demands: "You must be silent if I ask you to do so" and "You must leave the bedroom or office immediately and without objection if I tell you about it."

Is it any wonder that this marriage soon fell apart?

3. Ivan Bunin

Who: Laureate Nobel Prize in Literature 1933

How he ended up on the list: after twenty years of marriage, he decided to expose his wife as an “obtuse corner in a love triangle”

The writer, together with his wife Vera Nikolaevna, emigrated to France, fearing the anarchy that reigned in Russia after October revolution. But that didn't stop him from making a little cozy mess at home. Bunin's last love, Galina Kuznetsova, turned his head so much (we reread "Light Breath" - it seems that Ivan Alekseevich really liked the type of "teenager woman") that he was literally a year after the start of the novel, tired of secret meetings in a rented apartment in Paris, he settled Galina in Grasse ... at his place, at the Villa Belvedere. The wife pretended not to notice the novel, which was vigorously discussed by everyone in the emigrant environment. And then, it seems, one of the protective mental mechanisms worked (and it’s good that it worked - otherwise Vera Nikolaevna could lose her mind): the poor woman managed to convince herself that her husband loves Galya like a daughter, that she replaces Ivan’s only son from her first marriage - Kolya, who died at the age of five from scarlet fever. And if so, then she, too, must love her. Over time, the situation will change - the wife will have a young lover, it will also turn out that Galina prefers women - but that's a completely different story ...

4. Ivan the Terrible

Who: Sovereign of All Russia

How he ended up on the list: he was very harsh with his wives when he was upset, acted according to the principle “No man - no problem”

Until now, it has not been precisely established how many times the autocrat was married. According to the most common version, Ivan had seven faithful (which contradicted church canons, according to which it was possible to get married only twice). Lyut was the king and formidable not only when he took Kazan. It is strange that in Russia there was no sign: "If you want to take your own life, marry the lord." Most of all the life mentiones of the queen resembles a children's child, who has become popular thanks to Agate Christie: "Ten Nertyatat went to lunch, one choked, they were left to nine" and so on.

According to rumors, the first (most beloved) wife, the noblewoman Anastasia Zakharyina, was poisoned. The second - the daughter of a Circassian prince, distinguished by a violent temper and a propensity for adultery, who planned to carry out a coup with her lover - Maria Temryukovna was imprisoned in the Kremlin under the supervision of guardsmen, she allegedly died of consumption. For the third time, the tsar married the hawthorn Marfa Saburova, she did not live long after the wedding - two weeks, the brother of the late Queen Mary entered the Saburovs' house, who treated someone else's bride with poisonous candied fruit (allegedly from the royal table). A year later, the sovereign ... decided to marry again! And he ordered to marry him with Maria Koltovskaya. The fourth wife of Ivan IV, who turned the lord into a henpecked man, was disliked by the boyars - they slandered him before the tsar. The rest of her days (rather long, by the way, more than 50 years), Anna spent in captivity in a monastery. Meanwhile, the king laid eyes on Maria Dolgoruky. On the wedding night, it turned out that not only Ivan liked Maria - and did not retain her maiden honor before the wedding. She paid a terrible price for her sin: she was drowned in an icy river (this was in November 1573). Then there was 17-year-old Anna, who died three months after the wedding from chest disease. Vasilisa Melentyeva, the penultimate wife of Ivan the Terrible, was buried alive (there was nothing to change). And only Maria Nagoy - Ivan's last wife - was lucky, she survived her husband!

5. Carl Gustav Jung

Who: the founder of analytical psychology

How it ended up on the list: not only did he persistently recommend polygamy to his clients as a panacea for all diseases, but he himself did not shy away from actively using this method

The great student of Freud was married only once and lived with his lawful wife for more than fifty years. Emma Raushenbach gave her husband four daughters and a son. But was she happy? Life with the great psychologist was like a fairy tale - the farther, the worse. Jung, as they say, used his official position and combined the useful with the pleasant, entering into intimacy with the clients who came to him for analysis. And Sabina Spielrein (her role in the film "A Dangerous Method" went to Keira Knightley) was far from the only patient with whom Karl became close.

In addition to Sabina, who, by the way, captivated Freud too, there was at least Fraulein Antonia Wolf. According to Jung, "a wonderful smart girl, with a great sense of religion and philosophy" and of Carl Gustav himself, of course. It was with her that he worked on works on the collective unconscious and ... learned the "mystical" meaning of sexuality - for some reason it did not occur to Jung to realize this idea together with his wife, who bore him five children.

6. Lev Landau

Who: theoretical physicist, Nobel Prize winner

How he ended up on the list: he didn’t know what he was doing

"Small trade shop" - that's what Landau called ... marriage. The great physicist believed that marriage and love are incompatible. He urged his beloved Cora not to spoil their high relationship with a wedding. The scientist was desperately afraid of losing what he valued most in the world - personal freedom, but ... he got married anyway. True, before that he made the bride swear that she would not be jealous of him for other women: “Unfortunately, all my talk about mistresses is only theoretical in nature ... Jealousy in our marriage is excluded, I will definitely have mistresses! I want to live brightly, beautifully, interestingly.

The physicist chose a very suitable, from his point of view, moment to confirm his right to a mistress. When Kora was pregnant, Leo said: “Korochka, I come to you with very good news! I won't be back alone tonight. A girl will come to me! I told her that you were in the country. Sit quietly, like a mouse in a hole, or leave. You don't have to meet. It might freak her out!" Of course, we can understand Kora, who could not bear it and nevertheless left the closet, but Landau did not understand why his wife did this ...

7. Amedeo Modigliani

Who: expressionist artist

How he ended up on the list: according to one version, he offered his common-law wife to share with him ... death

While Amadeo used *** and ***, he destroyed only himself. Yes, destructively, but he, like all of us, had the full and unconditional right to do whatever he wanted with his life. And even though almost all the models of Modigliani after some time became not just models - this does not happen with creative people. What is striking is not the number of women with whom he entered into an intimate relationship, but the artist’s egoism, inflated to unprecedented proportions. Jeanne Hebuterne went through fire and water with him, except that there were no copper pipes in this story (Modigliani became famous only after his death). She quarreled with her parents, who did not approve of her choice (and who would have approved, Amedeo liked to drink, fight, did not shy away from drugs, did not have high moral qualities and calm character) gave birth to Amedeo's daughter, practically stopped writing herself, although she was a talented artist, because that she had no time or energy left for creativity. And what did you get in return?

Before his death, the artist invited Jeanne to die. Do you know what for? So that he can be with his favorite model in paradise (Modigliani painted Jeanne at least 25 times) and enjoy eternal bliss with her. The saddest thing is that the 22-year-old Zhanna, who was carrying a second baby under her heart, could not help fulfilling the last will of Amedeo, she buried her beloved, and the next day she stepped down from the sixth floor.

8. Vyacheslav Molotov

Who: politician

How he got on the list: allowed his wife to be arrested without even trying to protest

Molotov's wife, Polina Zhemchuzhina, incredibly annoyed Comrade Stalin for at least two reasons. Firstly, she was friends with Nadezhda Alliluyeva, and the leader of all peoples believed that it was she who had a bad influence on his wife, and, most likely, blamed her for the death of his wife (after another quarrel with her husband, Nadezhda walked with Polina around the night Kremlin , complained that it couldn’t go on like this anymore, planned a divorce, and then shot herself that same night).

Secondly, everything was “too” in her - too strong-willed, too ambitious, too smart ... If the saying that a man is the head and a woman is the neck did not exist, then it should have been invented especially for Polina. She twirled her husband as she wanted, and managed to make an independent career. Iosif Vissarionovich strongly recommended several times to Vyacheslav Mikhailovich ... to get a divorce! Molotov did not listen to his recommendations, and then the repressions began. Zhemchuzhina was withdrawn from the candidates for members of the Central Committee, then accused of treason and arrested.

Vyacheslav Mikhailovich did not even protest, despite the fact that he loved his wife very much. “I am a member of the Politburo, and I had to submit to party discipline ... I submitted to the Politburo, which decided that my wife should be eliminated,” he explained his behavior. “I was very fortunate,” Molotov later said, “that she was my wife. Both beautiful and smart, and most importantly - a real Bolshevik, a real soviet man. For her, life was awkward because she was my wife. She suffered in difficult times, but she understood everything and not only did not scold Stalin, but did not want to listen when they scolded him.

9. Leo Tolstoy

Who: great writer

How he ended up on the list: made his wife live a life that wasn’t hers

Did Levushka appreciate her sacrifices? Of course not. Whenever the wife was pregnant or did not have time to recover from the next birth, he "fell into sensual temptation" and cheated on her with another maid or cook. It is not difficult to imagine the scale of the family disaster, if we remember that Sophia gave birth to Leo 13 (!) Children. Later, the search for the meaning of life was added to adultery - and it was then that Sonyushka found out how much a pound is worth. It would be nice if her husband limited himself to giving out valuable instructions, such as “Teach younger children only what is needed for life in the village, no foreign languages! ”, But he either tried to explain to his wife that he felt his guilt before humanity, then he was going to give up ownership, then from all copyrights to his works, leaving the family without a livelihood. Then Sophia will be accused of the fact that her husband left, and that he died ...

10. Henry VIII

Who: King of England

How he ended up on the list: he treated his wives as consumables, consistently getting rid of annoying

To remember all the wives of this British monarch, who tied the knot six times, is possible only with the help of mnemonics, at least English schoolchildren are taught this way: "divorced - executed - died - divorced - executed - survived." It seems that the second representative of the Tudor dynasty very quickly lost interest in what he received (and no matter how much effort was spent on achieving this goal).

In order to marry Anne Boleyn, who flatly refused to become his mistress, the king, drawn into a difficult and painfully long (the divorce process with his first wife Catherine of Aragon lasted about seven years), quarreled with the Vatican to the nines and went to the English department. churches from Rome. But literally three years later, Henry VIII accused his wife, who bore him a daughter (and he so dreamed of an heir to the throne, he already had one daughter!), Of treason and sent to the scaffold. Then the king was inflamed with passion for Jane Seymour, Boleyn's maid of honor, and married her a week after Anne's execution. Jane died in childbirth. When the king was asked who to save - the mother or the child, he replied: “Save the child. I can get as many women as I want.”

The next marriage failed because of ... a portrait (can you imagine what would happen to His Majesty if he lived in the days of the ubiquitous photoshop that works wonders?). The monarch liked the portrait of Anna of Cleves ... unlike the bride herself. So literally six months later the marriage was annulled. Wife #5 - Catherine Howard (wife #2's cousin) was convicted of treason and executed. Catherine Parr was more fortunate than others.

By the way, King Henry 8 was not so handsome, judging by his images on the canvases. However, the actors playing him (both in the TV series "The Tudors", and in the movie "The Other Boleyn Girl") are written beauties.

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